I'm trying to think of a situation more awkward than that ...

Nope. I've got nothing.

"If they can re-attach Bobbitt's penis...they can make me walk again!" - Scott Harding, a local Vancouver musician who was recently run down by a car in New York City.

"I wear a black hat and that's a fact. It's really white but it absorbs light." ~ my response to a subject not worth mentioning.

"I have gone where no man has gone before. I was in Mexico at the time and her father gave me permission!" ~ William Shatner (as seen in this video.)

"Bec, you have white stuff on your jacket..." - My friend
"Your point? Maybe I like that white stuff on me!" - Me
"-silence-" - My friends and the whole senior corridor

Context? My friend was pointing out that I had sour cream on my jacket....

Another one that I thought I should mention. My friend Jay enjoys poking me in the ribs when I don't do what he wants, or just when he's bored.

One time, in class, I got sick of the constant poking, and true to my nature, I yelled at him.

"WILL YOU STOP POKING MY SQUISHY???!!! IT'S MINE!!!!"

The squishy being the name for (what I see as) my chubbiness.

Needless to say, the 25 people in my class were interested to know what we were up to after that.

"So basically, what you're saying is your perfect man is Santa Claus." my friend Sam.

Me:  "I love you 400 million billion times!"

My BF:  "Ya know, I just don't think I love you that much."

*crickets*

"Houston, we have a problem."

Apparently, the first person to say that was on board a spacecraft to the moon. Actually, it was me responding to the post above.

I was working the other night, and had one of those really dippy days.

Me - "...I can't believe you just made me that wet!"

(Context: My work mate just splashed water over me)

Me - "Have a nice number - silence- Er...I mean...Have a nice day...-silence-....Uhm...Have a nice evening"
Customer - "That's the one"

Earlier....

Customer - "Could you call someone over to help me lift a box of tomatoes?"
Me - "Sure! -Over PA system- Customer....help....to the veggie part of the store, please? Customer -silence- Help....thankyou...."

I couldn't think of the word 'assistance'

The only way to live without disappointment is to live without expectations.

"Naw, I'm just tired. A lingering tired. Like the stink of a skunk hanging in the air long after its tail has twitched at the cat." ~ Just something I had to say at the time.

Me:  "I love you five million four hundred sixty seven times!!!!!"

BF:  "Oh, shit.  I don't think that I love you that much."

*brainstorming for ideas to lessen costs for a chorus trip*

"We could sell our kidneys!"~Reid, so obviously new to the group.

"I've decided that when I go to hell in a hand basket it will be one that I have weaved while in the asylum." ~ Yup. That would be me. But on second thought, I've been weaving it for decades.